Never have I seen a man do something so incredibly vile with such charm. Where there's tension, he provides laughter. Where there's pain, he provides comfort. And where there's feces on the tip of his penis... he provides dinner. Song HERE and 40 MINUTE VIDEO HERE.
This actually starts off as a painal vid, but much like Cuba Gooding Jr.'s acting career, that only lasts for about 14 seconds. From there on it's all pleasure, and by 'pleasure' I mean nervous system-disabling assgasms so hot even Stephen Hawking would pop wood. Full video HERE.
Porn Scenes Worthy of an Oscar
Todays menu: a.) girl manipulates dad into oral sex while mom contemplates suicide b.) leper fucks ass, leper's winky gets decapitated, leper continues to fuck ass anyway and c.) vintage buttrape porn, never fuck with a man that's just lost a game of Old Maid. SOURCES: 1, 3, 4, 5
Date: 11.7.12 | Submitted By roopskadoop | Category: LULZ
Painfully Awkward Moments in Porn
Big wtf @ girl #3. She taps out, instigates a fist fight and then concludes, mid-tears of defeat, that all in all it was "fun and amazing". No lady. Going diarrhea in a community pool overun by minorities is fun and amazing. What happened to you was just brutal. DOWNLOAD: 1, 2, 3
Enjoy, for this is undoubtedly the first, last and only time you'll ever see an 18 year old camwhore drunkenly dildo herself directly in front of her disapproving mom. In a word... FAP. Profile HERE.
Shy, Scared & Fucking Beautiful
Hot chicks + social anxiety. It's a phenomenal combination, second only to Mr. Pibb w/ Koala Yummies. Add a degree of sexial inexperience into the mix and you got yourself GF material, provided that they don't first end up in porn like this tard. DOWNLOAD THE FULL VIDEO HERE.
Ever cram an entire packet of strawberry flavored Big League Chew in your mouth and blow an epic bubble? Me neither, only a fucking moron would go through $2.49 worth of premium gum all at once. But hey, that's what this lady's ass looks like. Twitter HERE. Webcam HERE. Porn HERE.
Date: 9.21.12 | Submitted By rosebuttslut | Category: Prolapse
Much like Robocop 1-3, this goes from mildly erotic to fucking horrible pretty darn fast. Tipping point involves a Cambodian that apparently tried to high-five a weed wacker. Black chick HERE, hemorrhoid girl HERE, Edward Scissor No-Hands HERE. Download the song HERE.
Date: 8.29.12 | Submitted By tkn1989 & TG | Category: Amputee
What weighs 325 pounds, has hair worse than Phil Spector, and secretly enjoys getting karate-kicked in the appendix while ripping ass? This chick's 798th fuck buddy, and he's not even the worst of the bunch. Intro track is called We Will Survive. Download all videos HERE.
Seriously what the fuck is that
Skig tag? Tumor? Krang from TMNT? Fuck if I know, but whatever it is... it totally rubbed up against the other dudes thigh at the 1.38 mark, causing a half chewed Bagel Bite to be ejected from my mouth and on to my Where's Waldo themed keyboard. Song available HERE.
78 Percent Of His Sexual Partners Quit
This is legendary pipe layer Big Red, most notable for his 7 inch penis and it's not-so-cervix-friendly curvature. The end result tends to involve women screaming louder than Warwick Davis after the release of box office figures on Leprechaun 4: In Space. MORE HERE.
Broken Dreams, Broken Buttholes
Compliments aren't my strong point, but I must say... chick in the yellow dress is fucking stunning. I'd readily eat Honey Nut Cherrios out of Philip Seymour Hoffman's crusty asshole just for a chance to hold her hand. Someone Russian please hook it up. FULL VIDEO HERE.
The Dumbest Shit Ever Said In Porn
Belladonna is down for dog cock, Proxy Paige wants to fuck her own mom, & Annette Schwarz gets wet thinking about vomiting on senior citizens. Goodbye okcupid.com, my search for companionship has been fulfilled. SOURCES: #1, #2, #3, #4, #5, #6, #7, #8, #9.
Date: 7.30.12 | Submitted By Joe Jackson | Category: LULZ
Heads up kids, this one's gonna blow your fuckin yamaka away. It involves gummy bears, Rocky-inspired butthole punching, and an Alien 1 chest-burster reenactment so brutal you just might soil your Fruit of the Loom's. DOWNLOAD FULL VIDEO HERE.
Dude gets mega blue-balled after his water-buffalo of a girlfriend bails on him mid-coitus, leaving him and his lukewarm boner on a curb in downtown Newcastle. He deals with rejection the same way I dealt with the intro to season 2 of Sabrina, the Teenage Witch..... FAP.
<3 my fans. PROFILE HERE.
Date: 7.4.12 | Submitted By DamagedDolly | Category: Gallery
The Trolling Of Wannabe Pornstars 3
Whores from all walks of life trek to New Jersey for some quick cash and a blistering reality check. This guy does to self-confidence as Panda Express Shanghai Beef does to my asshole: obliteration. Meet the mastermind behind it all HERE. More videos HERE + HERE + HERE.
An insider look at the brutality/awesomeness of sorority hazing, in which status-seeking sluts are stripped of their D&G booty shorts and subjected to ridicule, humiliation, homosexual acts and reruns of ElimiDate. This shits top shelf.